B Words Confuse Me

I love to receive gift cards at Christmastime, but I often forget to use them.  This year I was determined to shop as soon as Christmas was over. I live 45 minutes from the nearest Bed, Bath & Beyond.  Therefore, online shopping is the best option. Hmm….what to buy from Bed, Bath & Beyond? Sheets, yes! I need new sheets.  

After a few minutes on the website of Bed, Bath & Beyond I find the perfect sheets.  The description promises to olivate overheating and bed sweats, an essential feature at my age.  I click, click my way to checkout, enter the gift card code in the appropriate box. A code red error occurs,  invalid gift card. What? Perhaps I typed the code wrong, I try again. Same error message, invalid gift card. Damn it…I really wanted those sheets, I pay full price for them.  The gift card is placed in my wallet to use next time I drive to the store.

Months later I plan a shopping trip with my daughter.   I ask her to remind me to go to Bed, Bath & Beyond to use the gift card.  Which is not a problem because it is two doors down from TJ Maxx which is a must stop for us.

At Bed, Bath & Beyond I go to the kitchen gadgets which  are my preferred acquisition. I pick out a few unnecessary items.  At checkout I hand my gift card to the sweet cashier, happy with myself for remembering to use it.  “Sorry ma’am that is not our card,” she said. That card is for Bath and Body Works. A bit embarrassed I laugh it off.  Good thing Bath and Body Works is in the mall right down the street.

We drive to the Mall which is in a sad state as most malls are today.  Half the stores closed and empty. Phew! Bath and Body Works is still there.  I pick out a few of my favorite soaps and candles.

At checkout I hand my gift card to another sweet cashier and tell her my story of trying to use it at Bed, Bath and Beyond.  She laughed and said, “it happens all the time.” I feel better about my inability to read gift cards.

She tells a story about an older man that phoned in to the store. He said, “give me the price on a Kitchenaid Mixer.” “Sir we do not sell appliances,” she replied.  Yes you do, he insisted! Let me talk to your manager. Sir we only sell soap, candles, and body lotion. I think you are looking for Bed, Bath & Beyond.

I would like to blame my stupidity on aging but that is not the reason.   My problem is I don’t pay attention. Simply reading the gift card would have helped.  However it is comforting to know I am not the only person making the B words blunder.

Life lesson – Laugh at yourself, it is okay to be silly!

The Jim

Marital Bliss and The Meat Injector

My husband Jim is referred to as “The Jim.”  He cannot simply be “Jim” because his personality and character is so strong.  We have been married for 100 years, or so it seems.

Needless to say, he has been in my life a long time.  I have endless stories of our relationship good and bad.  One of my favorites is the mystery of the meat injector.

The Jim loves to cook meat!  He uses dry rubs or marinades, he works the grill like a master chef.  He sometimes uses a meat injector that looks like giant needle a phlebotomist would use to take blood.    

A few years ago The Jim wanted to inject meat during grilling to keep it from drying out.  I searched our cooking accessories drawer and found the meat injector. Pleased with myself I handed it to The Jim.  His response was Where is the needle? Apparently that component of the device is required for injection. I replied, I don’t know you were the last one to use it!  My tone was a little too defensive, I have no idea which one of us touched it last. I assumed it was The Jim, I am not the chef. I am the dishwasher, there is a good chance I am the culprit. I never admit to it.   

We searched through the kitchen for what seemed like hours.  The required needle was not found. We were both annoyed and accused each other of losing it, but as married couples do we let it go and moved on.

About a year later, I was rummaging through the kitchen drawer again.  The injector caught my eye, stored safely inside was the needle. We had placed it there as not to lose it amongst the kitchen gadgets!  

Of course we laughed at our own stupidity.  When we need to use the injector we keep reminding each other where the needle is stored.  

Life lesson –  let it go and move on – make humor a priority to keep your sanity!


Am I too late to the blog party?

So I have a job, an easy job.  I don’t get paid much but it allows me time to do a bit of reading, and walking.  Lost 20 pounds, thank you! I like my job but I really hate to leave my dog at home. Everyday I get the terrible “don’t leave me face.”  That is why my goal is to freelance write, so I can work at home with my dog on my lap. She is a tiny dog so she fits well. Are you with me?

I have found that my favorite type of book to read is woman telling funny stories of their life’s trials, triumphs and defeats.  I have always used humor as a coping mechanism.

I say to self, I can do that; I have a ton of funny stories about my life, family and friends.  I have been told that I am excellent at writing business correspondence and a killer emails. Is a blog post much different?

Problem is blogging started over 10 years ago or more.  Is it too late to join the party? I have so many stories I want to get out of my head before I get dementia and forget what a wonderful childhood and life I have had.  Seriously, I have CRS syndrome!

People still read books, right? I say let’s give this a go and see where we land!